Kiss My Cranberry Juice

So, the most exciting news from The Pizza Palace is that I have a urinary track infection. This is a new and super fun experience that has been going on for about a week. I decided that I would rest and hang out with my cranberry juice bottle, eat garlic and blueberries, and then I would get all better. I decided that while I was away at the wedding. If I count back the days, that was a week ago so apparently not everyone in UTI-ville is fully on board with my magnificent plan. I particularly noticed that all systems were not go when I woke up at three o’clock this afternoon. That’s not fully true. I woke up at nine, shuffled aimlessly up and down my hallway, watched Phoebe play some video game that kept making a screeching cat noise every five seconds, exclaimed,”damn it, can’t you make that cat shut up!”, shuffled down the hall, exclaimed,”damn it, Bob is still sleeping!”, and then laid down for just a second. Then I woke up at three o’clock.

I am not really sick though because I feel fine and I don’t have a fever. It’s just that everything in the world is highly irritating and I think a horse stepped on my back. When I get sick, no one loves me. I need constant attention and positive affirmation. People should know to rub my feet and tell me I’m pretty. It is not the first time I’ve been sick, right? They’ve been told before.

Bob is the opposite. When he is sick he wants total isolation. How dare you come in the room with a tourniquet while he’s bleeding to death. He wants to bleed to death alone! Lock the door on your way out!

Another thing about being sick, especially on a Saturday, is that large troops of neighborhood children want to view you. I know what my viewing will be like. No, I’m not having a viewing. You are just going to have to take the family’s word for it when they say I’m dead. They wouldn’t lie about this stuff. Don’t make them dress me up just to prove it.

“Mom, can I go out to play with Matt?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I take the blender out with us?”
“No.”
“Matt’s mom said we should use your blender.”
“Matt’s mom is an idiot.”
“Well, my mom says we can’t, Matt. He’s been standing in the hall because I told him you were sick.”
enter Matt.
“Hi Matt. Nice to see you. I thought she meant the other Matt, because the other Matt’s mom is a real idiot. Not yours. We just know so many Matts! Matts, Matts, Matts, hundreds of them! Heh heh. Pass me my cranberry juice…”

So, I’ve got some antibiotics now. I’m going to take them and everything. It’s fine. I’m not really sick. I don’t have a fever.

Love and light,
Your friend,
Hil

Tags: cranberry juice, Urinary Tract infection, uti

An Evening Walk In The Park

Tags: hike, photos, Trexler Park

Love Love Love

I think people who don’t believe in a self reflexive universe maybe just aren’t paying attention. I’ve been feeling a little down about this blog because I am not sure that I have found an audience, I’m not sure if I’m in my writing groove, or even if I have anything worth saying (harrumph, harrumph). I hesitated to post my link on facebook because I thought “you are just spamming people and bothering them. Who cares what you write?” Just when I was thinking this, my dear reader Rosie reveals that my valentine’s day writing resonated with her. The Universe listens and The Universe responds. Thank you, Rosie, I really needed that. My ego is so fragile.

As the pictures above show, we did Valentine’s Day big in our house. I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately, particularly after being inspired by a book called

The 40 Rules of Love

.It is a historical imagining of the life of the poet Rumi. The novel is full of ancient Sufi philosophy, with a modern twist. Delicious. It reminded me that all of the world’s religions rely heavily on the concept of love. My sister gave me four pieces of rose quartz to attract love into my life, and my husband and I were lucky enough to sneak away to a romantic family wedding without the kids. I’ve dyed the couches pink, put on some high heels and added chocolate and strawberries to the daily diet. I’ve nothing but anime eyes all day long.

I’m going through a phase. What phase are you going through?

Hey! You’ve read this far, why don’t you become a follower?

Boxcars of kisses from the train of love…
Your friend,
Hil

Tags: Rumi, the forty rules of love, valentines

What I’ve learned about love; Spiders and Elephants

I’ve been away a little bit. I’ve been falling in love all over again. A husband is an endless fascination. I can feel fiery rage and then that dies, revealing the quiet spiderweb of our true connection. The threads are largely unnoticeable, but they hold us together and they have never broken.

What teenagers don’t understand is that love is so thready. The noise of youthful passion can be like stampeding elephants, but true connection works like a lovely, silent spider. Consistently it spins and weaves, tender in skill, building something both strong and weak at the same time. It is even possible to love someone without even knowing it, just as a kid can love a brother or sister who drives them crazy on a day to day basis. Although we are trained to listen with our hearts for stampeding elephants, one can be entirely interwoven with another in simple silence. We need to teach the younger ones this. Sometimes the noise is just noise. The real thing grows and changes, ebbs and flows, but always holds you with its invisible threads.

I had a talk with one of my daughters about loving people over Valentine’s Day. There is love the feeling and love the verb. For some you may not feel love the feeling, but you can love the verb everyone. It can be hard to love the verb someone who you don’t love the feeling, but those are the ones who most need it. Love the verb creates love the feeling.

I think younger ones think that when they stop hearing a deafening noise then there is nothing. They confuse elephants with spiders. We need to tell people that there is an ebb and flow in every relationship, be it parental, with siblings or with a potential partner. Look at nature. Things change, but the cycles come back over and over again. Spring always returns.

I want my daughters to know about loving actions, not just loving feelings. I want them to know about the great fun of lust and longing and passion, and that those are not the same as the great underlying mystery, love. Lust, passion, anger, boredom, etc. are like passing types of weather. Real love will be the constant, like the sun’s relationship with the moon. Real love is like gravitational pull.

My husband showered me with roses and chocolates this Valentine’s Day, and truly made me feel like a queen. I am a huge fan of the holiday and I love any excuse to make goo goo eyes with my man. Still, I know that stuff is all just good weather. We’ve enjoyed awesome weather with elephants going full steam, trumpeting all the way. It’s great! And it won’t last. I want my daughters to know that’s okay. That’s real and normal. It’s the spiders that matter.

The spiders are honesty, consideration, faithfulness and forgiveness. They are the coming home after storming off, the buying the chunky peanut butter that you know he likes, in the holding hands in the doctors office, the saying grace together and sharing a meal. Those things are the tethers that truly matter.

Love and light,
Your friend,
Hil

Sunshine and The Cats, Plus Drama Club

       It is fifty degrees and sunny in February. The end of the world is coming but at least I’ve got a day off and I’ve had a nice day at the park. Daffodils are coming up. I hope things are going well with you. We had another go at the animal shelter last night. This time we were in The Feline AIDS Room. We know better then to delve into The Kitty Psych Ward again.  The AIDS Cats share a window looking onto The Fat Cats, which took us a minute to figure out but eventually we got it. “Hey, that cat is fat! And that one is, too!  Wait, it’s a whole room of fat cats! Now I got it!” We put on a condom before we made love with any AIDS cats, don’t you worry. We are clean.

     AIDS cats are generally much more fun than Psycho Kitties, and smell much better. We gave each one a name. One was Huggie Baby because he just jumped right up to use and hugged us with both arms. One was a Bully and it was fun to watch him punch all of the other inmates. If he keeps that up he’s going to end up in the K.P. W, and he is not going to like it in there, but who am I to judge? One was Cow. One was Pumpkin. One was Laurence Fishburne. Phoebe was tireless in her adoration of each and every feline.

      Nevie is working on starting the very first Drama Club at her school. She chose the play, “The Little Princess”, and the principal was kind enough to order copies, and now she is working on holding auditions. I am impressed, and scared. I remember how much work the school productions were that I was part of in middle school, and we had things like “a director” and “a budget”. Nevie is so serious, though. That kid is seriously part Batman. She’s doing this, so get out of her way! She has adults who have volunteered to help at school, and already kids are expressing interest in obtaining her “audition packets”, so I’m really proud. Her little charter school is new.  They don’t have the sparkley stuff of other schools like computer labs and marching bands, the situation is pretty spartan, but if a kid wants to start anything new, they are encouraged to do so. I think that spirit will really serve the kids in the long run.

    Love and Light,

    Your Friend,

    Hil

Tags: charter school, fat cats, little princess, psych ward

I Dyed The Couch Pink. And The Chair. And The Ottoman.

“Why!? Why, Hil, would you make your couch PINK!?”

Well, I am reminded of the words of Sir Edmund Hillary, the first European to climb Mount Everest. When asked what possessed him to go to the top of such a dangerous mountain, he said,”Because it was there.” I found some inspiration by searching Google Image for “pink couch” and “pink and yellow”. Look at the deliciousness!

Add  ten packages of $2.29 Rit dye, “Fuschia”, and this is what we’ve got…

       The couch, chair and ottoman are from Ikea’s Ektorp line, available all over the world. In fact, my friend AnnaNotBob2 has the same couch in England (she’s AMAZING, by the way. Go say hi and tell her I sent you!). The items are slipcovered and the recent catalyst for change was a highly illegal cup of hot chocolate spilled all over my white couch by someone who is a juvenile and therefore will not have their offending name mentioned in print. It didn’t wash out with bleach and oxyclean. New slipcovers were my big xmas gift. By Jan 25, they were white plus chocolate.

               HOW DID I DO IT? I put two packages of dye in the washing machine for the chair, then I ran a second load with two packets of dye for the ottoman, and then I did the couch in three sections (lower cushions, back cushions, and the larger couch cover). I ran the washer on hot, with medium water level. As the dye’s box suggested, I added a little clothes detergent and about a cup of salt. I was delighted with the evenness of the color until I did the couch cover. One arm of the couch came out a bit batik-ish and not exactly even. Not heartbreaking, just slightly imperfect. I think that is because the fabric was so large it didn’t agitate in the washer as well. Next time I would set a higher water level.

Some have asked, “What about Bob? Isn’t he intestinally opposed to the color pink?”

Actually, he is the one who suggested it! He likes hot pink. He just politely opposed a more powdery shade. Look at this happy cowboy…

That’s a penguin. In a tutu. In this photo it kind of looks like those sand guys from Star Wars.

 

Oh my Goodness, I love those weirdos.

I think this pink couch business connects to #87 on my bucket list (which is linked on the top toolbar): BECOME MORE WEIRD. What have you done to become more weird lately?

love and light,
your friend,
Hil

Tags: google image, slipcovers, xmas gift

Blessed Imbolc All A’Yous! Teeth Update, and Kitties!

   Blessed Imbolc, Everyone! What’s Imbolc? Well, it is just another one of those weird pagan holidays that I take note of.  It is a time when the idea of spring begins. You may not be able to see it, but if you have faith, you will know that spring is actually on its way. The ewes in the field are pregnant. The seeds under the ground are stirring. It is a time to sit by your hearth, light candles and read poetry, knowing in your heart that although it is dark now, spring flowers are soon coming. You can’t always see the good things that are on their way to you, can you? It is a holiday that says,”Hang tight, chica.” It is a time when I wonder about all of the mysteries of the world. How is it that the seasons change, and situations change, and children grow? How is it when things are most bleak, they then improve?

From Wikipedia:
Imbolc (also Imbolg or Oimelc), or St Brigid’s Day (Scots Gaelic Là Fhèill Brìghde, Irish Lá Fhéile Bríde, the feast day of St. Brigid), is an Irish festival marking the beginning of spring, set on 1 February.
The festival was observed in Gaelic Ireland during the Middle Ages. Reference to Imbolc is made in Irish mythology, in the Tochmarc Emire of the Ulster Cycle.[1] Imbolc was one of the four cross-quarter days referred to in Irish mythology, the others being Beltane, Lughnasadh and Samhain.[2] It has been suggested that it was originally a pagan festival associated with the goddess Brigid, who was later Christianised as St. Brigid.

In the 20th century, Imbolc was resurrected as a religious festival in Neopaganism, specifically in Wicca, Neo-druidry and Celtic reconstructionism.

What’s going on? What’s going on?

      This teeth thing is huge and monumental, yes indeedy, but I feel like I may have the dragon on a leash. We went to Bob’s usual dentist to have the current infected tooth extracted, and he gave us his recommendations as to how we shall proceed.  I took notes.  He thinks we need the top teeth out first, followed by the purchase of a full set of upper dentures. Later, when we become rich, we can have the bottom teeth out and purchase a full set of bottom dentures. Then, later, when we become rich again, we can pay to have the most disgusting things in modern history, lower dental implants. These are metal things installed in your jaw that you can attach your lower dentures to.  I was going to rip off a photo from google images and show you what a lower dental implant looks like, but then I just ate, so I decided against it.

     In order to make an educated decision, we have set up an appointment with the aptly named dental group, “Affordable Dentures”.  Here’s hoping that they have affordable dentures. We also have an appointment in the great city of Philadelphia to check out the dental clinic at Temple University. That is scary to me, but all of my darling’s teeth are coming out, so it is not as if a dental student can accidentally rip out the wrong one, right? Pick any one! Pull it! It will be FINE! No worries.

Do I get gas, too? How much extra is it to medicate the spouse? Oh. Ok.

          My daughters drag me into all sorts of things, and now it seems that I will be spending many a monday evening in The Feral Cat Psych Ward. Phoebe is all about animals, and I thought it would be an inexpensive and philanthropic expenditure of our time to volunteer at the animal shelter. It is a No Kill, no less. The kids aren’t allowed anywhere near the dogs because of liability, but they are allowed to hang out with the savage beasts otherwise known as cats. There are 300 of them. Yes. I said 300. They have a wing of beautifully appointed rooms, with all sorts of cat-climby-things, cat-hidey-things, dozens of soft-cozy-things, and little mice toys in all of them. It is really lovely. You get to pick a room, and hang out with the kitties that really don’t know or like people, and hopefully make them more adoptable.

   We did this for Phoebe, but then Phoebe committed an unspeakable offense, and had to be disciplined. I brought my spare kid instead, so the kitties wouldn’t miss out.  Nevie and I are both sort of lukewarm on the subject of felines, but after two hours in the room with The Cat With Diarrhea, I am proud to report that we are still lukewarm. 

   Thanks for reading. Leave me a comment, if you don’t mind too much. If you leave me comments, it makes me feel like I’m talking to my friends, instead of talking to an empty room. Leave me a link to your blog, if you have one.

Blessed Imbolc, Again!

THE FEAST-DAY OF BRIDE
Bride put her finger in the river
On the Feast Day of Bride
And away went the hatching mother of the cold. — Carmina Gadelica

Love and Light,

Your Friend,

Hil

Tags: celtic reconstructionism, cross quarter days, gaelic ireland, goddess brigid, irish mythology, st brigid

Phoebe Knows The Ten Things List

Nevie had a sleepover tonight, so I took the opportunity to make good on a previous arrangement with Phoebe. I said any kid who memorizes my list of “10 Things” would get ice cream! Phoebe learned the whole list and here she is enjoying the victor’s spoils.
href=”http://hilthethrill.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/20120127-200631.jpg”>

love and light,
Your friend,
Hil

Bob’s Smile

        Did you ever climb a steep hill, and get to what you thought was the top, only to realize it was a trick of perspective, and you actually have quite a ways further to proceed? I am looking at a big hill in front of me, and I just don’t want to climb it. Bob and I were married two years ago, an apple and an orange somehow trying to share a fruit basket. We are both very much full of ourselves, and that leads to conflict, but in the past few weeks something amazing happened. Some of our mutual rough edges seemed to have rubbed smooth, and we have both been going in the same direction at the same time, copacetic-like. Nice.

      Now, this hill. Nothing can go to smoothly for too long, can it? Bob needs new teeth. His are bad. We don’t have dental insurance of any sort, but we have been planning for the day that we would take care of this problem. Now the day has come for me to get right up close to the details. I have been to the Temple University Dental Clinic website, I have checked out affordabledentures.com, and I have read the first-hand accounts of what it takes to have one’s teeth extracted and to be fitted for dentures. It’s not good.

     I always want things to happen “now”, and this is not a “now” kind of situation. This is a long, painful, expensive situation. It looks to be about a year long project.  This is a missing work, not getting paid, “one week of recovery for every decade of age” situation.  This is a pain-medication-doesn’t-even-take-the-edge-off situation. The more I read the more depressing the information is.

I don’t want to! I don’t want to slice and dice up my husband! I want it to go away! or I want it to be instant and easy!

Too bad. It is not going to be.

      Here are some phrases from the notes I took today,

” protodontist”         “extractions are $180 per tooth”            “premium dentures:$1150″  “complex extraction”         ”New denture package: $1, 575 (two sets)”   “third party financing”      ”must replace every five to seven years”     “must be relined every two years”          

       Oh, this is so not good. I suppose that looking at the big ugliness of it all is a necessary step. The next thing to do will be to contact some people and collect all of the information that we can. We can break anything into small steps, and just go one at a time, just like anything in life. It will be fine. Fine. Fine.

I just really don’t want to see my baby in pain.

Love and Light,

Your Friend,

Hil

Tags: dental clinic, dental insurance, dentures, pain medication, rough edges, steep hill

Sundry Miscellania

painting by Hil Eldridge 2006

Hi guys! Happy Monday! How’s it going? New Followers, thanks for signing up! Here is a fun story for you. Pets are wonderful, fluffy and educational. They are also a great way to teach your children about compassion and responsibility.  If you have pets and kids, you get a parenting gold star, right? This weekend, Phoebe and I were cleaning the rabbit cage, which is a foul and disgusting job because we have a large breed rabbit who makes a large breed mess. There I was, pulling out the wet and stinky litter and shoving it into garbage bags. Plural. Right when I thought I could not be more disgusted, the cat came over and threw up right in the middle of it. Mmmm…yeah. Sometimes The Universe toys with me. I hope your day is going better than that. Here are a few things:

Thing that it is doing outside: Freezing Rain, gahhhh! The kind of weather that I am not sure why it was invented. Snow is good. Rain is good. Freezing rain is like a sad hermaphrodite who doesn’t know which bathroom to use. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It is something that God invented for good reason, I’m sure, but I don’t know why.

Thing that highly irritates me: When someone is telling you bad news but tries to sell it as good news.  For example,

“Hey, we don’t have to buy fish food anymore!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! The fish is dead, but just think of the savings! Where would you like to go on vacation with all the money?”*

I have been noticing this little game happening more and more to me lately, and people everywhere need to stop doing this. Do not try to manipulate me. Just tell me whatever it is. This is an official announcement.  Thankyou.

*I don’t have a fish. That was just an example.

 

Thing that is giving me the will to live:

Dear readers, you may remember that in a previous post I used a bit of profanity because I have discovered that I have trouble digesting milk products. It is all ok now because I live very close to a store that caters to spoiled, vegan yuppies and they have Purely Decadent made With Coconut Milk frozen non-dairy treats. Hot Shit! I mean, Hot Shoot! I take off my hat to the good people who make this So Decadant concoction. This is not a paid advertising blog. I have 14 followers, be real, no one is paying me. I am just telling you because I love you. I want your life to be rich and full. The only problem is that it costs $5, which is kind of a lot. Please send money.

Thing that I am listening to right now: Pandora, which is another great reason to live, is playing me all kinds of 90s music today without even being asked. We have had The Cranberries, Fiona Apple and The Smashing Pumpkins. Just the other day, Bob and I were saying that the 90s was a great time to be in high school because it suddenly became cool to be artsy freaks. Which we both were. Are.

This is Paperbag by Fiona Apple in 2000, and it might be my favorite video of all time, for you, because I want your life to be rich and full.

Thing that I am reading right now:

 

Thing that is also a good song: Sinister Kid by The Black Keys…Ughh !

 

 

Alrighty, there is a guy sitting next to me in a bright neon ski parka that smells so badly of stale cigarettes that I am about ready to throw up. Behind him are a bunch of little asian schoolgirls who won’t SHUT UP AND STOP GIGGLING! I HAVE LITTLE GIRLS AT HOME! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY LET THEM IN THE LIBRARY NOW! SHIT! I MEAN, SHOOT!

Love and Light,

Your Friend,

Hil